Still valid

A staff member let me know one of our patients had "expired."

I thanked him for letting me know our patient had died.

Memberships and warranties expire (to end or no longer be valid).

People die (to pass from physical life).

Exercising my mouth

I came across a note, by a Recreational Therapist, in a medical record on a patient.

The patient was a 93 year-old male.

"Talking and reminiscing" were noted in the section entitled "Recreational activities performed today."

My wife thinks I talk too much sometimes and I don't disagree with her.

Starting now, however, I'll just gently remind her that I'm not just talking; I'm recreating!

Prader balls

I've been trying to put together a case report on the use of testosterone replacement therapy (TRT).

Many references note the well known side effect of TRT-testicular atrophy.

Sources note that treatment should be stopped if/when testicles decrease to a size of 5 ml's or less.

I wasn't sure how to measure or even estimate this. I was more accustomed to thinking in terms of testicular size in regards to cm's.

Thankfully, a Swiss pediatric endocrinologist, Andrea Prader, came up with an orchidometer, or Prader's balls, in 1966 to help clinicians.

It's a string of wooden or plastic balls that vary from 1 ml to 25 ml's used to help estimate testicular size.

It's also been called the "Endocrine Rosary."

"I cannot determine the extent of my injuries at this time"

The most common theme for billboards around us seem to be attorneys who are advertising their services.

Three signs seen recently are:

1. You fall...you call

2. Accidente de auto?

3. ______ got me $1 million dollars (and then in small letters "amount noted is prior to attorney and doctors fees and other costs")

Most attorneys take 35-40% of the amount obtained for their fee/cut.

It's easy to see why so many have called them "ambulance chasers" over the years.

It's harder to understand why so many attorney's seem to take offense to the nick-name.

The pressure is on guys...don't dissappoint

Just in case you missed it here it is...

One of our local Men's clinics is running an ad in the local sports section for a limited time "Romance Package!"

"In just one visit, we can help end your valentine's night with a bang."

It includes a private consultation, testosterone analysis, free test dose, $100 Restaurant gift card and a one month supply of "Libido up."

A $1200 value for only $195.

Of course the ad has a picture of a beautiful young woman wearing lingerie.

The ad also mentions a "98% success when other treatments fail."

It just doesn't include the disclaimer:

"In just one visit, we can help end your valentine's night with a bang, as long as you are willing to stick a needle with medication directly into your penis."

Falls

We keep track of falls. Sometimes it hard to determine exactly what constitutes a fall. For example, if a person slides out of a chair and lands on the ground, is that really a fall?

I asked if anyone had an official definition and, sure enough, they did.

A fall is:  Loss of upright position that results in landing on the floor, ground, or an object or furniture, or a sudden, uncontrolled, unintentional, non-purposeful, downward displacement of the body to the floor/ground or hitting another object like a chair or stair; excluding falls resulting from violent blows or other purposeful actions.

A slide out of a chair therefore represents a fall.

Anniversary bling times two

Mr. and Mrs. G have been married 63 years and have had 126 wedding anniversaries.

"Why? " I asked.

"We got married while I was stationed in Japan on December 28th at the American consulate but it wasn't recorded by the Bureau of statistics until January 5th because the offices were closed for the holidays."

"It's been pretty nice. We've celebrated twice each year with a cake and a gift to mark the anniversary of both dates."

I noticed that Mrs. G. wore a lot of jewelry when I arrived.

Now I know why.